So many stay at home mothers and homemakers have the same chief complaint, they are lonely. Yes, even though you may be surrounded all day long with little ones it can feel lonely. What if it didn’t have to be that way though?
Our fellow moms and homemakers need encouragement just as we ourselves do.
Hosting from a Bible view
I am not a Bible scholar just a homemaker who takes what she reads and tries to apply it to her life. Here are a few verses that I’ve found enjoyable in regards to hospitality and a few accompanying thoughts.
Romans 12:13 – Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
Our fellow moms and homemakers need encouragement just as we ourselves do. After many a play date I’ve felt a boost in my demeanor. Sometimes you just need to connect with someone on the same or similar walk as your own.
1 Peter 4:9 – Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.
At first I thought this verse might be meaning don’t complain about having people over. However, maybe it also means we shouldn’t grumble about our homes. In an Instagram/Pinterest world it is easy to play the comparison game. More on that thought later.
The example of Mary and Martha found in Luke 10
Hosting the Lord Jesus would have been a once in a life time opportunity. Yet Martha got so caught up in the work she neglected to actually pay attention to her important guest. Getting so caught up in perfection when having guests over is the exact opposite of what hosting should be. This reminds me of the book Having a Martha Home the Mary Way by Sarah Mae that I should probable reread. Here are a few ways to find the book if you’re interested.
“My home isn’t ______! I can’t host.”
Ridiculous! Stop using this crutch to support unbiblical behavior. Your home is the one God has blessed you with. Why are you saying it isn’t good enough?
I recently had the opportunity to host my sister-in-laws bachelorette party. It hadn’t been the original plan to have it at my house but that’s what ended up working out the best. I will admit, I was a little nervous to have 10 women over in my tiny space of a house. There is a lovely coziness that comes however with being a bit squished together. We had lots of food! Threw a few pillows and mattress on the floor and had the best time watching Father of the Bride and just chatting.
Your home is the one God has blessed you with. Why are you saying it isn’t good enough?
Practical ways to overcome hosting insecurities
- stop comparing (I know! Easier said than done)
- Set up a cleaning routine. Something that easily flows with life but that keeps you on track to have a well maintained home.
- Find homes for everything you own. This is the ultimate challenge in a small home but crucial. Nothing makes me feel more overwhelmed than clutter piles.
- Maybe you don’t have a lot of space for a lot of children to run rampant, especially in winter. Perhaps a simple planned activity would be helpful. Ex. playdough, cookie decorating, colouring, or even a movie might be the answer.
- Don’t stress about children. Children will be children. They’re going to eventually show some bad behavior at some point. As long as you know you’re putting the effort in to teach and train them properly just calmly deal with whatever hiccups might come from their behavior.
Side thought: You may have to be the one that puts in the effort. Don’t get discouraged if you feel like you’re the one always reaching out. Today’s society, while we are 24/7 connected to everyone, is overwhelming fast paced and antisocial in many ways. Others also face the same insecurities you do.
Sometimes your house isn’t the best spot for hosting. Maybe your spouse is on shift work (been there). Maybe you just need a change of scenery yourself. Maybe the person you want to invite lives a bit far away.
Thinking outside the box for hosting:
- Do things outside – the park, the beach, a snow hill, walks, bbqs, picnics
- Have a met up spot – the public library, a park, maybe a cafe, I highly recommend the thrift store (wink, wink)
- Bring people food – sometimes schedules, illnesses, or simply life get in the way of having people over. Perhaps we can take a bit of hospitality to them instead.
- Have introverted members of the household – invite people over when they are away. It is important to be consciousness of the other members of your household. My husband enjoys hanging out with people but he also needs a lot of down time to recharge from work and other life demands. So it’s not fair for me to expect him to be willing to play host whenever I think he should. On the flip side of that I enjoy having people over often. So my solution is simply invite people over when he’s away. I have noticed however I also need to be aware of my children’s social battery levels. So an even balance is need for sure.
Allowing grace – there will be seasons where it’s just not as feasible to do these things and that’s okay. Just don’t let those seasons become a forever winter or a life long drought. Remember the more you show hospitality the easier it becomes.
What areas holding you back from hosting? Or how have you enjoyed the benefits of hosting?
The SunFlower Homemaker 
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